EQUALITY FOR ALL!

Why do I support equality?

WHY SHOULN'T I?

As a family bringing up 3 very small children about to discover who they are and who they will become, equality is paramount.

I'm not saying I wish my children to be gay or straight. That's for them to discover, not for me to decide. I can say I don't wish them any struggles in their discovery. What they find will truly be their own.  I am their father and will stand with them on their journey through life. I'll help them up when they fall and I'll praise them for their successes. I don't want my kids to hide who they are but celebrate who they are. It's a long journey and they shouldn't have to make it alone.

The reactions of people to the ruling on Friday showed me there is still intolerance in this world. Seeing the reactions I was amazed at the negativity mixed with the rainbows. Love Wins wasn't everywhere but it was there and mixed with the rainbows like a rainbow of freedom. If you don't support equality that's your decision and I can respect that, but it doesn't make your archaic views correct. 

I applaud you SCOTUS on equality for all. Equality for the future and a chance to make us a better more tolerable country. 

  

Don't Let Dads Be Left Behind

I am Marc Mitchell and I am a not a man. Well, good thing I don't believe everything I read on the Internet. Why was I called this? Because I expressed a desire for change. What change could be so wrong that I got insults hurled at me? I am a member of a group of Dad bloggers and we are asking amazon.com to change its discount service for childcare products from Amazon Mom to Amazon Family. Wow,  just like it is in every other country.

Image Courtesy of Chris Routly of Daddy Doctrines

 Why on Earth would it matter to me what they call it?  It's a great program and I should just shut up and take the discount. Well here's the problem, if it’s was called Amazon Dad would Moms have a problem with that? You bet they would. However it's not even as petty as that sounds. Amazon is also subtlety saying moms should take care of the kids. That it is your job, Moms, so here have our discount. The more complex argument is that every family doesn't have a Mom or Dad. Why can't it just be family? Every family, after all, is a family no matter the dynamics.

Why the sudden urge for change? It's about one man, Oren Miller, who brought together over one thousand Dad bloggers and inspired us to be better men, fathers, and writers. Sadly, Oren passed away over the weekend after a vicious battle with lung cancer at the young age of 42. We have taken up a cause he was passionate about. We fight for change in his honor.

Amazon has been absent from the campaign and ignored every tweet, email, and phone call. Today I called because I wanted to know. Why the different names?  First, I spoke with a gentleman in customer service who was unable to answer my question.  I asked to be transferred and was sent to a supervisor. The supervisor told me a bunch of noncommittal rhetoric about Amazon Mom being for everyone. I then struck a nerve with my response. "It’s like me, a Dad, being told that I can use the changing table in the ladies room." That's the point when I was no longer speaking to Amazon Service; I was speaking to a parent. She agreed with me. Her boyfriend had run into the same problem. She then told me something very interesting. There is a reason the United States is the only country using “Amazon Mom”.  Government policies in other countries prevented it from being called “Amazon Mom”.

So I urge you to sign the petition, be heard and demand change. You can find the campaign on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook with #AmazonFamilyUS. I look forward to Amazon Family. Lilo said it best “Ohana" means "family." "Family" means "no one gets left behind." So let’s not leave Dads behind.

 

The Blind Side

I am a huge sports fan and an even bigger movie fan. I loved the movie The Blind Side starring Sandra Bullock. If you haven’t see it the story revolves around Michael Oher an offensive lineman for the Baltimore Ravens. In the movie, he learns to protect the quarterback. The most important person on a football team is the starting quarterback and if he isn't properly protected it can really hurt a team. The Blind Side is aptly named because it is the side in which the quarterback cannot see where his tacklers or attackers are coming from.

Jay Cutler is a quarterback for the Chicago Bears. He had a tough season and was the primary recipient of the criticism for the losing season. His season has been over for a while after being benched and his team failed to make the playoffs. His performance is still getting criticism but it's not for football. It's for his skills as a parent.

An offensive lineman is usually there to protect his blind side but in the offseason he has no blockers for what is coming. He was blindsided by an Instagram post calling into question his skills and desire as a parent. Off the field he is just a dad. Dads get a lot of heat from everyone butone person shouldn't attack his blind side, and that is his wife and parenting partner, aka mom.  His wife publically shared screenshots of text messages he sent to her while dealing with the kids for a day. What followed was considered by most to be hilarious.

Reading through the comments on the Instagram post I became appalled at the amount of people attacking him. I myself, became his sole protector, protecting his blind side. I called his wife out for dad shaming so much so that I was quoted in an article. Then later, the sporting world started sharing the story as well and mocking him for a lack of being able to handle the pressure in the pocket. All of this negative character attention could have been avoided if his wife simply thought before sharing.

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/nfl-stars-frantic-text-need-u-home-asap-all-109210455632.html
 

The Jay Cutler incident came on the heels of another dad scandal. By now you have no doubt seen the new commercial from Similac showing parenting groups facing off in a park like The Sharks and the Jets in West Side Story. While including dads and moms of various beliefs they all unite to chase a runaway stroller which is ironically caught by a dad. While finishing with a seemingly beautiful sentiment they forgot all about dads and left them unprotected to ultimately be sacked in the tag line of Sisterhood of Motherhood. Then an amazing devout group of dads took to Facebook on Silmilac's thread promoting their new awesome commercial to complain about the tagline.  They were hit with a seemingly low blow by the Similac representative that stated that dads were also welcome to the sisterhood of motherhood. Well thank you very much for the dose of emasculation.

 

http://youtu.be/Me9yrREXOj4

We live in a world where it is seemingly okay for mom to call out dad. Some dads are called women because they don’t fit a certain ideal held by closed minded people. Hell, I myself have been called a babysitter which is impossible because I'm their dad. We need to stand up for ourselves and stand up for each other. We are members of the Partnership of Parenthood, not just sisters or mothers. We should recognize that we are a team and need to protect each other's blind side.

Summing up the At Home Dad Convention

What I did

I attended the 19th Annual At Home Dad Conference 

Why I went.

I have only been an at home dad for a year, why did I feel it was important to attend the National at Home Dad Convention? Because I care about myself. While that sounds very selfish it wasn't intended in that manner. Being at home is a lonely business, 80% of my conversations have been with humans under the age of 4. I love my wife and kids but I felt it was important for me to go, and so did my wife.

What I knew before I went

I had met these guys online and had conversations with them. Shared ideas, thoughts, successes and failures. We live a life in solitude and isolation but it's good to know that help and an understanding friend was just a Facebook message away.

What I learned

I share a bond with these guys from all corners of the country, even Canada. We know there are more of us out there and bringing the convention to as many Stay at Home Dads as possible is my new agenda. Support can come from anyone, even a stranger. You don't have to live in isolation. If you just reach out there is someone there to help you and who needs your help. The online acquaintances can quickly transform into friends. The bonds we share make us comfortable with each other. It doesn't matter if we get along. We all have a deep love for our children. 

Who I met

I met people from all walks of life and all shapes and sizes. The conversation ranged from sippy cups to sports.  I met guys that cared for one another even though they had just met. I met Dads     who only see each other once year at the convention and talked like they just saw each other yesterday. I even got to chat with Dads who had twins like me. But most importantly, I made friends. The group of strangers formed into a group of friends over the three days. 

 

What happened at the convention

Upon arrival we met in a small group and headed to the hotel. Introductions rarely occurred, it was more of a "nice to finally meet you" conversation. 

We started off with a service project where we sorted food donations at the Food Bank of the Rockies. Our work contributed to 8,260 meals.

 This is where I met the president of the network. It was the first time we have met face to face and I was curious how the meeting of all the internet friends would go. I realized how close the SAHD bond was right away when he gave me a hug and thanked me for coming and said its nice to finally meet you.

       That night we went for a Dad's night out with the Denver Dads Group to a Rockies Game at Coors Field. We witnessed a walk off win for the Rockies, if you were lucky enough to stay through the end. 

       The next morning brought more fun before the meat and potato of the convention began. We made the trek to voodoo doughnuts where I valiantly attempted to eat a very large donut (six regular donuts) in 80 seconds or less. That would be the only failure of the weekend.

       That afternoon we listened to Alberto Pellicer talk about the importance of play.  We had aN informative  presentation from car seats manufacture Britax. They even gave away car seats (I didn't win). A guest panel of some of the wives of at home dads presented as well. It was amazing insight to how the other half view us.

        The speaker,  Barbara Colorosso, the parenting expert, was amazing! She was funny, witty and informative...as well as a former nun!

We also he breakout sessions, including but not limited to, age based discussions, photography, literacy and starting a dads group. There was even a meeting in which we elected members to the board and went over business for the network.

      The weekend was filled with good times, great new friends, and learning experiences that will last a lifetime. The most important lesson is this; I am not alone!  There are others that may be different than me but we share a bond that will carry us through trying times as Stay at Home Dads. I'll see you in Raleigh for next year's convention.