Navigating the Caribbean with Twins

While on a seven day cruise with the family, I was rewarded with a beach free day. (I hate sand!) It was my wife's present for my birthday, along with a spa visit for a shave and facial.
        The logistics seemed easy enough. Step one, wake up and dress twins. This task was relatively simple seeing that I am a Stay-at-Home dad to my twins and an older singleton, I do this daily. With them freshened and ready for the day, we tackled step two, breakfast with the twins. This is easier said than done.  On a cruise ship this can be an event, almost like dining out... I strapped them in the stroller and set out with a plan and executed that plan flawlessly. Okay I'll admit the dining room staff helped, they moved chairs for me and sliced the banana I asked for. Easy as pie you might say. With the toughest part of the morning completed, we headed to the pier. We rode the elevator down and exited on deck one for the gangway. On exiting the elevator my daughter proclaimed, "Nana!", which is what she calls my wife. I got off the boat with the twins at the same time as my wife got off the ship with our teenage niece and 3 year old! I was feeling pretty kick ass right about now. They had a 45 minute head start. When we got to the pier we posed as a family with a pirate for a photograph and then proceeded to the shops.

          I was looking forward to doing some shopping but was disappointed with the shops. There was very little room to navigate a double stroller and only a few shops were open and ready for customers.  Instead of shopping, I  eagerly pushed the twins around looking at the sights. However, it was a dreary day in the beautiful island of St. Martin. Although there was an overcast, it was already stifling hot and I was starting to bead with sweat. Then the sky began to open it's gates and a slight drizzle came down. So instead of waiting around for the shops to open and get soaked, we trudged back to the ship.
       We navigated through the security checkpoint back onto the pier and learned the nice local lady checking our "Sea-pass" cards was a twin. As you know, when you have twins everyone has their own twin story. We passed Mommy again, with a slight tantrum, and then headed back towards the ship and up the ramp. Our cards were scanned and then I spotted my new "nightmare"; the metal detector and bag x-ray machine.

       

I was in my own private twin hell and wondering how long it would last. What should take seconds  can take minutes and seem like hours when it comes to handling twins. I looked pitifully at the ship crew and dropped my head to stare at the floor for a second. I slowly raised my head and said, "I have to take them out, don't I?" My query was met with a resounding yes and I began the epic task. I unbuckled them and removed the first twin, my daughter, who is the patient one. I was still perplexed on what to do about her brother, the runner and climber, and the folding of the stroller.  I went for it in a quick dash. I let go of my daughter's hand and quickly evacuated my son from the confines of the stroller. In no time at all, my daughter darted for the X-ray machine. Of course, they automatically went in opposite directions. As I folded the stroller my son darted towards the pier while my daughter ran towards the innards of the ship. I quickly herded them again and readied myself to do the next step. I placed the stroller on the conveyor and walked them through the machine. I noticed a small line forming and hurried the stroller on the belt while my twins took off in opposite directions, once again. While I captured the runaway toddlers a large line was beginning to form behind me.

Finally, I walked my twins through the metal detector. We made it!  The worst was over... Then I looked at the stroller and realized I had to get them back in.

Dad Dad Dadly

So I was having a twitter conversation with @DadatworkNJ and was inspired to rewrite Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice and here is the entire finished product!

Dad Dad Dadly

Yo, KID, Let's kick it!

Dad Dad Baby, Dad Dad Baby
All right stop, Elaborate and listen
Dad is back with my brand new inception
Something grabs my legs tightly
Parenting like a Dad daily and nightly
Will I ever stop? Yeah when they grow
Turn on the light it's the DAD show
To the diaper that I never mishandle
Light stove to heat up the soup from Campbell

Clean, Go rush the floor with brooms
I'm filling you with food so you aren't running on fumes
Dadly, when I play in the land of candy
I'm just your dad not a masked vigilante
Love it never leave it, I am your dad all day
You be on top of it, The kid is at play
If there is a bobo, Yo, I'll kiss it
Check this out as daddy solves it

Dad Dad Dadly, Dad Dad Dadly
Dad Dad Dadly, Dad Dad Dadly


Now dad being dad that is something
With the balls kicked in, still up for jumping
Quick to the point, to the remember no shaking
Cooking Moms like a cake for baking
Fixing rips and tears while wearing a thimble
Kids go crazy for the mouse symbol
Building the kids into winners like a Debartolo
I'm on my own during the day flying solo
Enduring the juvenile mermaid show
The smiles and laughter make the room glow
The career  on standby, I' a stay at home dad that's why
Did you care? No – I gave this dad thing a try
Kept on till they fill the diaper with a plop
Watch out do step on that block
That block was done

Yo – so I continued to DAD Fatherhood Ave.
Kids were ruling like a mussolini
Refusing to even eat zucchini
Jealous 'cause I'm home raising mine
Kids with the toys and Daddy at the head of the line
Ready for the haters that try to call
The haters acting I'll cause play dad at all
Lego ranged out as the fell
Wait what is that smell
Checking all the diapers real fast
Only to find out it was just gas
Bumper to bumper the mini van is packed
I'm trying to get home before dad is attacked
Babies on the prowl, You know what I mean
They climbs up my leg, looking like nap fiends
If there is a bobo, Yo, I'll kiss it
Check this out as daddy solves it

Dad Dad Dadly, Dad Dad Dadly
Dad Dad Dadly, Dad Dad Dadly

Doctor Seuss is my lyrical poet
Teaching life lessons in case you didn't know it
My house, that created all the fun around
Enough to make superman leap the building in a bound
'Cause my kids like to take milk an make it spill
Parenting rhymes that make your wife run for the pill
Dad being the primary caregiver, heck of a concept
Dads generate the hype and you want to step on us
Dads won't trade, even getting kicked in the balls by a baby ninja
So hard and fast, Other Dads say, "damn"
Serving the kids yummy toast and jam
They're Hercules and I'm their Zeus
I have to go one just dropped a deuce...
If there is a bobo, Yo, I'll kiss it
Check this out as daddy solves it

Dad Dad Dadly, Dad Dad Dadly
Dad Dad Dadly, Dad Dad Dadly

Yo, kid lets have fun! I'm not your mother!

Dad Dad Dadly Too cool, Dad Dad Dadly Too cool Too cool
Dad Dad Dadly Too cool, Dad Dad Dadly Too cool Too cool

The Beginning

My Journey as a Stay at Home Dad begins on July 31, 2013. My Wife went into set up her room and I was ALONE. I have been left alone with all three but never for the entire day. We awoke early to begin the preparations just like a regular work day for my wife so she could start getting used to the schedule she would have to maintain for the school year. The day was going great everyone had breakfast and played. My son likes to play on the pool deck (we have a safety fence around the pool so do worry) outside with the dog.  He asked for some chips, in pink bowl. SO me being the good father I oblige and give him his snack in the required bowl. He took them outside and sat on the deck next to the dog. I was watching him through the window as he places the bowl on the ground. Now, anyone with a dog knows what will result. He didn’t miss a beat he and the dog shared the chips and when finished he came in and asked for more… "Can Chloe and I have some more chips?”

I even took on the project of sorting the clothes in my oldest son’s closet and finished. Everything was going awesome…

When done I was watching the twins fight over some toys and I started think….hmmm QUIET 2-Year-Old…OHH SHH! The hunt begins! I start my search and I don’t locate him. So I call out is name… ”I’m Right Here” he responds. When I finally discover where here is my jaw drops. We had a party for my dad’s 60^th birthday party at our house a few days before and had plastic cups and people wrote their names on the cup with a marker. Everyone is thinking about this and has done this knows what kind of marker used for this task. SHARPIE. Enough said right oh no it was amazing. He had it EVERYWHERE.  

See what I mean EVERYWHERE, even the chair in the background.

His response to being caught... "I didn't mean to."
Me: umm
Him: I did it in Mommy's Classroom
Me: umm
Him: I didn't mean to.
Me: its okay

I even texted my wife the picture and she showed it around work and got a few laughs.

Product Review:

Sharpie Marker:

I love Sharpie Markers and anything with the Sharpie name, but when you are at the store and buy a Sharpie Marker buy an Expo Marker too (it’s like a Magic Eraser for Sharpie Markers, except on walls) I can tell it’s a quality marker in that it takes 4 to 5 coats of paint to cover a scrubbed down drawing on the wall. It make a difficult to remove body paint not recommended for this use.

               

Magic Eraser:

                WOW… No mess is too tough.

The Beginnings of a Plan

                              Every adventure requires a plan. Is mine a good plan? I hope so... I am going to treat it like a full-time job, because it is.  I am going to have my own uniform…okay so shorts a t-shirts are much of a uniform but it’s not boxers or pajamas. I am going to follow a schedule...flexible schedule. I am going to do thing differently and try to maintain a sharp and active mind.  I have procured materials from the dollar store and plan on using my K-6 skills to teach a two year old to read.

                I have the idealistic approach and need to maintain the closest I can to the schedule I set and follow it as much as I can to the letter. I have to be patient and understanding to the needs of children come first and the schedules also need to be flexible too. Structure is a good thing but it isn’t always what is best.  Children can’t always follow a schedule.

                I have to maintain focus and keep a goal in mind. I am going to measure each day as a success or failure. I am going to keep the house clean, cook dinner, and do laundry and dishes. I would also like to use down time to watch a movie or play Xbox. I should be able to have some time.

Revisions to the plan have to come as needed so I have to remember to be flexible. I think a good goal would be to not need to call 911 or have a severe injury of sorts.

COMING SOON: Awesome Idiosyncrasies of the Children of a SAHD

Weekly Posts to follow…

Introduction

Hello let me first introduce myself. My name is Marc and I am a thirty-four year old unemployed father of three (a two year old boy, Kyler ,and 8 month old twins, a boy, Kole, and a girl, Kennedy), about to begin the adventure of being a stay at home father. My kids are more important to me well over a job. I am also educated; I have a degree in Elementary Education with endorsements in Reading and ESOL. I was a 5^th grade teacher at a local public school and I was non-renewed.

I have been a father for a little over two years… What was my life like before fatherhood? Well My wife and I were living on one income, hers. She is a teacher at a public elementary school and I was in school and subbing. I did everything but I monopolized my free time by playing video games and watching movies.  We had been married for just under two years and we got the wonderful line on the stick. I later wrapped it in a box and gave it to my mother to tell her the news. She was thrilled about the new but not the pee. We didn’t wait long to tell but I told one person first, My Uncle Jim. Why would I tell him first? Well I wanted him to know that we were going to use his wife my Auntie’s name (Robin) as a middle name. We were going to tell everyone the big news the next day. I was getting ready to sub and was halted from my routine by a phone call; it was my mom with news of her own. Her news would both break my heart and make me believe in something more than myself for the first time in my life. My Uncle Jim passed away shortly after I spoke to him. I was devastated, and I called my mom’s side of the family that day to tell them the news of the baby, it was such an uplifting moment at a difficult time of need.

We eventually started looking to buy a house that was larger than what we were renting. We finally chose a four bedroom and 3 baths home. We had an experience in purchasing the Short Sell home. We started in April and finally closed in July. We moved in quickly because School was about to start and I was finishing up with my internship.

With us settled in and awaiting the grand arrival of Kyler Robin. His entrance was perfect. I could not ask for anything more.  Life was perfect. We had a home with a pool, and enough room to grow, there was even a man cave for myself.

I finished school and subbed while Kyler eventually land in a home daycare. I took a long-term position to finish out the year. I was hired that summer to teach fifth grade and we began to enjoy our life with Kyler. As my first year of teaching finished we found out we were having another.  At an appointment the doctor informed us there might be more than one baby in there…and the rest is history.

Let’s get into the events that led to my current condition…THEY ARE UNKNOWN. Why would I not know? As a resident of the state of Florida I am told I don’t have a right to know it is a right to work state, so I am left to only guess and read the mind of the principal who didn’t think enough of me to give me a third year teaching, or second year for her.  

What would my guess be for my current condition? I can only make this assumption and keep that in mind I hope this is not the reason, only because I hope someone that is in control of a school that educates elementary school kids could be this sadistic. My guess is that I missed a large amount of time last school year, I would say close to 20 days, the year before it was far smaller, in fact I had days remaining at the  end of the year. What was the cause for my increase, well that is the sadistic part, my wife was pregnant with twins, a well-known fact, and I had a two year old that was often sick with numerous illnesses that eventually landed him in the hospital 3 times this calendar year, twice for illness, and once for the removal of his tonsils and adenoids, with the insertion of tubes in his ears. We later took him to an immunologist and he was diagnosed with suspected periodic fever syndrome. (Not confirmed and could never be confirmed because there is an 80% cure rate for periodic fever syndrome with tonsillectomy)